Nice backrub!

Yesterday after work I stopped by my favorite watering hole on the way home. It is a favorite of mine because there are semi-naked women that perform for all those willing to fork over the cover charge and (hopefully) tip them when they finish their few minutes on the stage. I have been frequenting this establishment for over a year now (since I relocated to Southern California), and I have made friends with some of the girls.

So yesterday, one of the ladies was talking to me and asked me if I wanted to go with her to get a message. Now I am all for flirting and enjoying someone's company, especially in a place where such things are encouraged. But when she asked me to meet her outside the confines of her work, I was a bit perplexed. Not that this was a date, but it was different than sitting and talking at the club.

Is this an overture to something else, or is she just being nice. Is she going to ask me to pay for both the messages? "What the hell," I said to myself. It sounded better than sitting at the bar, so I followed her about 10 miles down the road and I ended up getting a body message for less than $50. Actually, it felt very nice. I have not had a professional message for a couple of years, so this was special.

And as for the woman, she said goodbye and headed home to have dinner with her roommate/boyfriend. OK, so I had expected that, but I am still curious why she invited me along for this indulgence.

I m not really worried about being 'played', because I like to think that I am smarter than that, but I have been getting signs fro this lovely woman that she likes me as a person, not just a potential client.

And I slept very well last night, thank you.

Back after...

After starting this blog last year, I fell into a funk that lasted until now. Now, with the new year and all those pesky resolutions still clicking in my brain I have risen and found the keyboard once again.

So, what has been bugging me such that I need to express myself here?

I am currently living in Southern California. My spouse is living in Illinois, and beign away from family and close friends have been taking their toll. I need companionship and affection, and the only way I can find to get them quickly is to hang out at strip clubs, where the women are attractive and very social. Yes, they want money for their trouble, but when I find a girl with both looks and brains, and one that is not so young that she could be my granddaughter, then I do enjoy myself.

And as long as I maintain some moderation while I am there, it is affordable enough for me to visit the same place on occasion. My other fall-back is watching adult dvds and going solo.

Still, my sanity is somewhat intact, but the solitude has caused me to think too much and then revives some of the demons in my soul. Those self-depricating memories where I should have known better, but at the time...

My other solace is in reading other blogs where people are either more screwed up than I am, or bring a sense of realization that I am not alone in my worries. Misery loves company, and there seems to be plenty of it in blog-space.

Welcome

To the inner workings of my soul. This is a place where the back of my brain can come forward. I have other blogs that have gone dormant because some of the thing that I want to write I cannot write in those blogs.

This is my inner sanctum, my place of catharsis and crying in agony, my insanity and depression run amok, my cruel ambitions, and my secret life revealed.

Judge, if you wish, but remember that you came here by choice.